Never lose without a plan again.
Expert Excuses is the world's first AI-powered excuse generation platform for RC racers who won't settle for losing due to lack of "practice" or "skill." If you're going to lose, do it like the pros do.
No credit card required. Your dignity is already gone.
Technology so advanced, losing feels like strategy.
Failure to plan for failure is planning to fail at failure. Or, something like that.
Blame Shift™ (BS)
Instantly redirects fault away from your driving with real-time environmental, mechanical, and interpersonal excuse calibration.
Fallacious Atmospheric-Induced Logs™ (FAIL)
Monitors temperature, humidity, wind, altitude, and vibes to produce excuses that are technically accurate even if untethered to facts.
Heartrate Monitoring
We detect when you are losing, so your excuse is queued up and ready to go by the time you put down the transmitter.
Believable Artificial Breakdown...Yielder(?)™ (BABY)
We detect when you are losing, so your excuse is queued up and ready to go by the time you put down the transmitter.
Post-Race Narrator™
Generates a compelling race recap that makes an 8th-place finish sound like a heroic battle against impossible odds.
Personalized Excuses™
Upload your setup and change log, so your excuse sounds like it's based on reality despite being pure fiction.
Pre-Race Alibi Mode™ (PRAM)
Creates a set of reasonable excuses before the race even starts so you're never caught without a narrative, just like the Pros do it.
Whole Holistic Integrated Near-realtime Excuses™ (WHINE)
Share your excuse to group chats and forums with a single tap before the race is even over, so you don't have to stress about saving face, and can focus on the next race.
Excuse Archive™
Never repeat the same excuse twice. Full excuse history log with usage stats and audience reception and believability ratings, for optimization of future excuses.
Credibility Yarn™ (CRY)
Each excuse includes enough technical jargon that nobody will question whether it's real.
Amateur excuses vs. Expert Excuses
See the difference professional-grade blame-deflection makes.
"My car broke down."
"My ESC went into thermal protection just as I was executing a pass for second. The data shows it."
"The track sucked."
"Track surface degraded asymmetrically after the water missed turn three. My setup was optimized for the morning surface."
"I got taken out."
"The driver behind me misjudged closing speed through the carousel and initiated contact on my left rear. If not for that, I was ready to take the lead."
"My tires gave out."
"Tire compound selection was correct for the conditions at 10am, but by noon the track had a built-up groove. The track owner should have done something about that."
"I should have won."
"I was the fastest car on track for the first eight laps. The results don't reflect my pace."
"I wasn't even trying."
"I was sandbagging to collect data on tire degradation curves for Regionals next month. It's a multi-race strategy. You wouldn't understand."
Excuse Generator
Select a category, press the button, and receive a professionally crafted excuse.
Choose your level of denial.
All plans include zero accountability and full deniability.
The Coper
Free
- 3 excuses per day. Enough for heats, but not the main.
- Standard blame templates
- Copy to clipboard
The Delusional
Pro
- Unlimited excuses
- All 14 excuse categories
- Excuse Chains™
- Post-Race Narrator™
- One-Tap Share™
- Excuse Archive™
- Priority blame generation
Sponsored-Level Denial
Factory
- Everything in Pro
- Pre-Race Alibi Mode™
- Credibility Yarn™
- Team-wide excuse sync
- Sponsor-safe language filter
- Custom blame templates
- Download excuses to CSV
- API access
- Dedicated excuse consultant
What our users are saying/blaming
Because taking responsibility takes the fun out of racing
Richard H.
Pro1/8 Buggy, Southern Region
"I used to just say "my car was junk," but that left me feeling like it was still my fault. Now I deliver a 45-second technical breakdown that leaves the entire podium speechless. I go home knowing that everyone knows that there was nothing I could have done, and that's what's really important."
Scot W.
FreeShort Course, Pacific NW
"Even the free tier is better than any excuses I was coming up with on my own. And I was coming up with some pretty creative stuff."
Reed S.
Factory1/10 Electric Touring, ROAR
"The Excuse Archive alone is worth the price. I can pull up exactly what I said three months ago so I don't repeat myself at the same track and get called out for re-using excuses. Again."
Pablo B.
ProNitro Truggy, Midwest Series
"My wife used to ask why I lost. Now I just read her the Post-Race Narrator summary and she thinks I almost won. Even I think I almost won."
Ben O.
Free1/8 Nitro Buggy, East Coast
"I was skeptical, but the Conditions Analyzer nailed it. It was 3 degrees warmer than practice and my excuse wrote itself. Never again will I question my own talent."
Derek S.
FactoryOval, Indoor Nationals
"Our whole team is on Factory now. We coordinate excuses before the mains so nobody contradicts each other. It's a fool-proof system, which is good, considering who uses this app."
Frequently asked questions
I was going to build a much more elaborate April Fool's joke, but my computer was slowing due to unseasonable heat in the Northwest, and my pinky finger was cramping up after my daily 3-hour weight-lifting session, so I built this instead.
That depends entirely on how committed you are to the delivery. The excuses are technically plausible enough that most people won't challenge you, especially if you maintain eye contact and don't blink. We recommend testing your delivery in the mirror a few times, or to a family pet, or a distant relative.
Each excuse was handcrafted by experienced RC racers who have spent years perfecting the art of losing without admitting it. No AI was harmed in the making of these excuses. They are 100% free-range, Dorito-fed, human-sourced denial.
Absolutely. How else will people know how fast you were before [insert excuse here] happened?
No. But if enough people ask, the RC racing hobby has a serious problem, and I need to rethink my life choices.
We're always looking for quality material. Send your best excuses to the So Dialed team through the Contact page. If it makes us laugh, we'll add it to the database.
Your next loss deserves better.
Download Expert Excuses and never be speechless at the track again.
Check out our real apps at sodialed.com.